38 weeks. That’s a lot of baby & a lot of pregnancy.
What a journey it’s been & now we’re here, on this day – expecting our daughter to enter the world in the coming weeks… our whole life about to be toppled up side down.. for the best. I thought I better reflect a little now.. just in case we have an earlier arrival than expected annndd because maternity leave has given me some much needed thinking time!
I think the biggest thing that I’ve come to realise in this season, is just how remarkable the human body is and how much credit I haven’t given pregnant women until now. I have been blessed… seriously, I’ve had a very cruisy pregnancy, half of it I think is luck but I am proud of myself in how I’ve managed to enjoy this season and keep on keeping on. I think it IS very easy to kind of “settle” into being pregnant and into laziness, but I honestly think keeping busy, staying as normal until as late into the game as possible has really helped me with my energy, my baby’s growth and my overall wellbeing.
I really don’t think pregnancy can be explained though, I actually couldn’t have understood the pressure that growing a human puts on your body and mind until now.. and that’s probably the same with parenting; nothing can prepare you.
I’ve just now gotten to the point where sometimes if I sit down, the prospect of getting up is just.. well.. probably a good idea but physically really hard. Driving has become difficult, picking things up is decided on level of importance and I pee FOUR times a night!!!!
This baby LOVES to headbutt my pelvis, it’s intense but quite sweet too, I often wonder what she’s thinking when she’s poking her feet out or doing her little wiggle dances. They’re quite funny these babies!
My life has become one that consists of washing, consuming mostly liquids because I can’t fit food in as easily & wearing Michael’s clothes and no pants.. because.. well who cares and it’s comfy!!!
As we anticipate the birth and labour, honestly I’m excited. I have experienced many moments of fear as we near the end but I’m not afraid of the pain and I’m not afraid of birth. I’m anxious about the 24/7 responsibility of being a parent, I’m worried about my marriage not being as wonderful (or as easy) as it is now, from time to time I worry that she’s not developed properly or that I’m not being healthy enough to grow a healthy baby, I’m a little worried I’ll never feel sexy again, or that I’ll be a hot mess allllll the time. Yep.. my head has definitely spent some time in the fear zone and I know it’s not good. I heard a really good quote at Church from Ps Bev Murrill a couple of weeks ago:
“fear is a waste of a good imagination”..
and it’s really true but with such a huge impending life change, I think it’s common to worry a little. I have given these fears to my Father in heaven and I trust that He will carry me through.. like He always has. I’m also aware enough to know that some of those ^ things can be avoided by just being smart, being in the moment and taking it one day at a time. I am confident in saying I’m not feeling worried overall, I’m not anxious and I don’t feel afraid of this next season – I guess there are a few things that have been on my mind.
In saying that, birth isn’t one of them. Giving birth to a new human.. the idea just amazes me. I guess I’m not afraid because there’s actually nothing I can do to control it. However this baby decides to enter the world, is however she will. The only thing I can do is encourage her, be kind to myself, pull my big girl boots on and walk through what needs to be walked through. I’m quite inspired by other peoples birth stories, both intense, scary and chilled.. it’s all amazing and it’s just so incredible to me that there are so many ways that babies can be brought into the world! I’m trusting in the process, trusting in my body and believing that God has it under control regardless.
So there are some 38 week pregnancy thoughts.. if you got to this point, well done, you’ve probably gotten to know me a little too well. I hope I can read this in coming years and remind myself of who I was and where I have come.
If you’ve missed some vlogs – here’s the last few
- Leaving our loft – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cLbUi1_WY0Q
- Our new house – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gqa5Jlnn_p4&t=3s
- Michael’s Melbourne adventure – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CZlyY_OVZdw
- Our baby shower – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ds2WVPM2FDs&t=15s
- Creating our baby room – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sVpnh7Oyyk8
- Our pram – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KZYE_i-ggJo&t=2s
- A baby moon adventure – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y1_KKsW_fug&t=13s
Until next blog!